Time For Change

written by Kris Costa

The hearts at Mindset are deeply saddened by recent events at Umpqua Community College.

Unfortunately, it is my belief that this will not be the last school shooting to take place. The rash of violence spreading across the nation against our schools and the innocents within is nothing short of evil.

My appreciation goes to the first responders, medical responders, crisis centers and others, whose grim tasks now include and necessitate drill upon drill of reacting to such domestic terrorist emergencies. No longer carrying an element of sheer surprise, these tragedies have become scenarios whose practiced responses are now a matter of protocol in our American culture. The re-enforced skill sets of our task forces, and other emergency preparedness teams and individuals have no doubt increased the likelihood of surviving such a horrifying scenario, however, much needs to be discussed and implemented to avert the terrorist act in the first place. It is not enough to deal with the after effects. These occurrences MUST be eliminated. It is my opinion that the most influential to facilitate effective change in our own schools lie with us, the civilian public.

I often wonder how many parents have asked the serious questions to our schools regarding security and preventative measures, and if so asked, what are the responses?

Our government representatives and the like, will address various talking points around gun control, mental health, etc., all of which are vital and valid and necessary discussions to have, for quite some time to come. However, let us not forget that it is not the government’s responsibility to appoint school security to all the schools in the nation and regulate it. Our Legislative branch will provide rules to govern society, and the Judicial branch will set ramifications when violations occur. The police and others will respond to such violations. However, the job of keeping our schools safe lie with us, the proactive general public. It simply is not acceptable or effective to wait around in fear for someone, or some other body of people, to do the job we need to be doing, which is stand up for safety of our youth and other personnel in schools.

If you are a parent, have you questioned your child’s school on security procedures? Do you know what the procedure is concerning lock down? Do you know if those procedures are drilled with any regularity? What situations are covered? Most importantly, how is the school addressing preventative measures? How is the school physically secured? Are there increased security measures in place? Are there “No Gun Zone” signs posted? Does your school believe that is a deterrent? Would they consider additional preventative security measures if the budget for such could be supplemented? Would you pull your child/young adult out of the school if you were not satisfied with their answers? Is there a parent group formed and it is applying pressure (and support) to the school to make the hard decisions and take serious action?

This is only the tip of the iceberg. Do your children know how to adapt to life where they hear about school shootings in the news regularly? Do they really feel safe? And there is so much more.

If it is not worth the effort to find the answers to the above, and more so, to do everything possible in our power to protect our children in school, then we may loose a lot more lives waiting for others to address these issues on our behalf. I believe in prevention, and it begins in our own neighborhoods. Speak up, form a collective, offer solutions, pressure the schools to respond, financially contribute. It’s not about who “should” be doing what, it is about doing the best we can and now. Lives matter.

There are so many facets to the issue of school violence and violence prevention. Enforcing physical boundaries against it, before it happens, may just be the easy part.

Here is the real question: If we could go back to the day before each school shooting, knowing what we know now, would there be one thing that could be done differently? If the answer is no, then there is no need to pay attention to this post.

~KBC

Are You a Heart Saver? Saving Lives One Heart at a Time.

Are You a HeartSaver? Saving Lives One Heart at a Time.

By Kris Costa

Let me tell you a about a relative who had a heart attack in a mall one afternoon in December. Wisely, and frankly uncharacteristically, he made his way to the shoe department of Macy’s, which luckily was near an exit door, and complained to a cashier of pain in his chest. The ambulance arrived quickly and loaded him in. En route to the hospital, he went into cardiac arrest.

Fortunately, he was in trained hands who administered CPR and swiftly used an AED (automatic external defibrillator) to shock his heart and bring his pulse back. By the time I arrived, he was in the ER, laying in the recovery position (on his left side)—ashen and still, but alive. Alive, with the necklace he bought for his wife still clutched firmly in his hands. In the weeks to follow, as we celebrated the holiday season,
my family was acutely aware of how very close we had come to spending this time in a very different, very dreadful manner.

There is much to learn from this story. One thing for sure is to not ignore the signals that our bodies communicate to us. Another lesson is to call for medical help immediately, as the cashier did. Had one or two of those elements not been acted upon exactly as they had, this gentleman may not have been in the ambulance when he arrested. And what if he had not? Would another set of capable hands been available to save his life? Did anyone in the store know what an AED was, or where it was? I am grateful to leave that an open question in my mind. However, there is another lesson to be learned from this experience. What if someone were to go into cardiac arrest in front of YOU? Would you know what to do to save a life?

My relative was shopping alone that December afternoon, but what of the person whose family is standing witness, screaming for help to those who are unable to provide any? That sort of helplessness is a hell all its own—and it happens every day. People watch as others die. Anyone can learn CPR—and everyone should.

WHY TAKE ACTION?
• Failure to act in a cardiac emergency can lead to unnecessary deaths.
• Effective bystander CPR provided immediately after sudden cardiac arrest can double or triple a victim’s chance of survival, but only 32% of cardiac arrest victims get CPR from a bystander.
• Sadly, less than 8% of people who suffer cardiac arrest outside the hospital survive.
• The American Heart Association trains more than 12 million people in CPR annually, to equip Americans with the skills they need to perform bystander CPR.

THE GOOD SAMARITAN LAW:
The Good Samaritan Law protects individuals who assist a victim during a medical emergency. Every state in the United States has a Good Samaritan Law or Act to protect individuals who offer reasonable aid during a medical emergency.Since a Good Samaritan typically does not have medical training, the law protects him or her from being liable from injury or death caused to the victim during such assistance. As long as a layperson has good intentions to aid the victim to the best of his or her ability during a medical emergency, he or she is protected under the Good Samaritan Law. Under some Good Samaritan Laws, as long as medical personnel, such as doctors, nurses, or medical responders, are following normal procedures, they too will be protected under the Good Samaritan laws. Each state law has specific guidelines.

AUTOMATIC EXTERNAL
DEFIBRILLATORS:
Automatic external defibrillators (AED) save lives. An AED is a portable device that checks the heart rhythm and if indicated, can deliver an electric shock to the heart to try to restore normal rhythm.

CPR/AED classes are taught nationwide, and many are taught for free. CPR/AED can be learned in one day, in just a few hours. Contact your local Fire Department for more information. Make sure the CPR course you inquire about also teaches AED. Many also teach child and infant CPR/AED, adult and child choking, and first aid. There is no excuse not to learn these life-saving techniques. Get going, get trained, learn how and when to use your training, and be prepared! You may never know when you may be called upon to save a life.

Kris Costa
Editor in Chief Mindset Self-Defense Magazine

RESOURCES:
CPR/AED:
htp://www.redcross.org/take-a-class – (also offers pet CPR course).
http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/CPRAndECC/CPR_UCM_001118_SubHomePage.jsp
Or contact your local Fire Department.
PET CPR:
http://www.pettech.net/index.php
GOOD SAMARITAN LAW BY STATE:
http://www.heartsafeam.com/pages/faq_good_samaritan

Read our article on pg. 34-35 with facts from the American Heart Association.

Venues- Antigua

Venues-Antigua

By Kris Costa

Antigua and its parishes are home to some of the world’s most magnificent beaches! White sand, crystal blue water, and picturesque sunsets abound on this beautiful island. But that’s not all.

Antigua has something for everyone. A popular cruise ship destination, the port city of St. John will not disappoint, as it offers brand name shopping on Market Street as well as island original creations on the streets which extend past this port street center. The bustling duty free port is known for glistening jewelry, fabulous beach attire and colorful island creations. Additionally, Antigua boasts many historical landmarks and local points of interest. A quick drive through the local parishes will quickly endear a feeling of belonging as one can see children walking from school, local businesses in action, and even a game or two of soccer amidst the islands sugar cane plantations.

Hotels are plentiful along Antigua’s gorgeous coastlines and range from quiet and personal to teeming with activity. If your choice is to spoil yourself with activity based accommodations, water sports or sailing, Antigua has it. If your whim is more in line with complete relaxation amongst beautiful flora and romantic charming moonlit dinner, Antigua has that too. Whatever your preference, Antigua’s enticing turquoise waters will beckon your every call. All is yours on this fantastic island which offers many activities in an unpretentious atmosphere. Never obtrusive, simply available to tend to your every need, Antigua’s most endearing resource is its people. Charming, accommodating, playful, polite, seeing them is like coming home. On an island where there is virtually nothing left to wish for, Antigua’s friendly people top off the most wonderful of experiences. You will arrive a stranger and leave with friends, and you will always remember their smiles.

A r t w o r k , c u l t u r e , m u s i c, entertainment, restaurants, even a casino make this island a superb choice for every vacation taste. For those of you who just cannot bear to depart this lovely island, there are still a varied amounts of land acquisition opportunities. Hmmmm, now there’s a thought.

No stranger to the pallet, Antigua local cuisine is mouthwatering. Typical local dishes include salt fish, eggplant, local lobster, a variety of vegetables, seasoned rice scalloped potatoes and plantains. Antiguan butter bread is a main staple, with its soft buttery flavor. The bread pudding is not to be missed for dessert!

There is nothing quite like an outdoor massage while the trade winds blow, and Antigua’s hotels will pamper you at your whim. At their organically appointed spas, some even constructed in Gauguin cottages on stilts and draped with crisp white curtains blowing in the breeze, Antigua spas take indulgence to a new level. Of course, Antiguans are just as happy to bring comfy tables, linens and oils to your room terrace to provide your spa service as you listen to the waves break on powdery shores.

Antigua’s sister island, Barbuda, is 27 miles off Antigua’s North Coast. This coral fringed island is renowned for its tranquility, crystalline waters, deserted beaches and lobster. Easily accessible from Antigua aboard the Barbuda Express ferry, or an any other number of boating options, Barbuda can also be reached in less than 10 minutes via VC Bird international airport.

Article continues…. Pgs. 15-16

-KBC

“If-Then” Self-Defense

I am always interested in the studies of crime statistics, probabilities and scenarios. Certainly these studies yield important information and can act as prediction indicators of the occurrence of crime but the information they gather, simply put, are generalities. IF such and such is in place, THEN we may assume that x,y,z will follow. Basically, when it comes to crime indicators, I think the if-then scenario concludes the following predictability reliability: Sometimes. When it comes to predicting whether or not a certain person will commit a violent crime one must consider the individual with their ever changing experiences, chemistry and soul status. I am sure that even the most organic of us cannot predict with any certainty what another will do from one moment to the next.

No one is immune from crime. If we were, we wouldn’t need all those statistics, probabilities and studies to predict its occurrence in the first place. Life itself is an “if-then” scenario. If we are in the path of any number of scenarios that manifest into a violent crime, then we must know what to do. Danger is always brewing somewhere.

In terms of safety, we simply are safe until we are not. Sounds simple but it is true. Here’s another if-then scenario to think about. If you learn nothing, then you will know nothing. Although our basic instinct may be to survive in the face of danger, that often is not enough to actually survive. It is not enough to want to survive if you don’t know how.

Logically speaking, there are just too many threatening scenarios to think about preparing for. At the end of the day, we live with so many risks all around us that it just doesn’t make sense to consider them all and wonder which one we will most probably have to deal with. We rely on studies and statistics, to make educated choices about our safety based on our best guess of where we fit into those statistics and that is helpful, however, crime doesn’t always make sense therefore statistics can not be 100% accurate and only so much of our society can be patrolled at once.

Simply put you will never really know what is coming your way until it is happening.

The only thing we can really rely on is ourselves. The best defense to the myriad of risks that ebb and flow around each of our interactions in life is to know where we stand within them. By it’s very nature, violence is not a predictable event. If it were, no one would become a victim, and clearly, there are victims of violent crime every day all day long.

What safety really becomes is another if-then scenario. Simply put, if I am attacked, then I need to know what to do to survive. If I know what to do then it doesn’t really matter if I am attacked. I know how to defend myself so I will. That skill will help me get out of trouble. It is the same way that I approach renting a car at the airport. If I know how to drive, then it really doesn’t matter what make or model they hand me the keys to. If I know how to drive, then I will and increase my chances or arriving safely because I have the basic skill. You cannot always predict which threat in life you will have to deal with, but if you know how to protect yourself, then your chances of survival increase no matter what situation you find yourself in. But only if you have the skills.

We are not born with appropriate self-defends strategies because the nature of threats against us change with the climate of the era. However, it is essential that we do learn to protect ourselves because we never know which situation we will be handed. Without skills, we live a life of chance of which threat we may actually encounter, and common sense tells us that it is not a matter of If, but a matter of when.

~KBC

Mindset Self-Defenese offers workshops, products and a cutting edge magazine dedicated to the self-defense, personal protection and safety of women. Learn more at http://www.mindsetselfdefense.com

Emergency Preparedness-The Series-Part II-The Low Down on Lock Downs

Emergency Preparedness-The Series-Part II

The Low Down on Lock Downs

In the aftermath of well publicized school shootings, it only makes sense to address the possibility of any threat on school grounds whether it be trespassing, or an armed suspect.There is no longer room the “simple threat” attitude, the cost of the potential problem is just too great.

Although most schools will never experience a threat as horrific as a school shooting, there is no down side to expecting the best and being prepared for the worst.

To that end, here are how Arizona schools are prepping to handle the worst case scenario of a potential school shooting on their grounds. This information has been gleaned from the AZ Department of Education and the AZ Republic website. Also, be sure to visit the Mindset Self-Defense You Tube account at: XXX for video’s on school preparedness, sourced from the Department of Homeland Security. Click on our School Safety
playlist.

Valley schools typically announce lockdowns whenever a potential threat is identified and the situations run the gamut and are not distance sensitive. For example; a bomb threat, a suspicious person who appears to have a weapon or suspect on the run, even if several blocks away. What prompts a lockdown is anything that presents a danger to children — not just criminal. When a lockdown is announced, teachers sweep the area, bring in adults and students to the nearest classroom, lock the doors,remain quiet and turn off the lights. If the school has a resource officer, they are notified and police agencies might send officers to schools to guard the perimeters.

Five Chandler schools were placed on lockdown for about four hours this year when a man was spotted reportedly carrying either a rifle or shotgun near Chandler High School. A Tempe middle school went into lockdown last school year after two students reported another student showed them a handgun in a backpack. The weapon turned out to be a pellet gun. A Mesa high school in 2013 was placed on lockdown when a student called in a bomb threat.

Usually, it is the police’s call to lock down a school, but district administrators work with police agencies to learn how and when to implement lockdowns.

Similar to other districts, Mesa schools conduct at least one lockdown drill a semester, Mesa schools
spokeswoman Helen Hollands said.

Lockdowns are stress producing for parents. Most parents find out about them through either district administration communications, posts on district websites, email alerts or at times letters home if a situation warrants it. Often times the children themselves contact parents through social media, which at times are the quickest way parents received information. It is important for parents to know that the information they received via their children may be prompted by a false alarm and not to panic until the
information has been verified.

Here are some common questions that many parents would like answers to:

How are school lockdowns handled?
The specifics of each plan differ, as do the responses, based on the specifics of a situation. In general, each plan involves the designation of an emergency-response team; development of evacuation, shelter-in-place and lockdown procedures; preparation of a portable emergency response kit that contains key information and supplies; designation of one or more appropriate evacuation sites; provisions for training personnel and updating the plan; checklists for dealing with specific types of incidents; and resources for help before, during and after an incident.

Ultimate Self-Defense

Imagine you had the ability to embark on a journey into a brave new world, one in which you have never seen or heard of, one in which you do not speak the language and no one even really resembles you. The purpose of your journey is to navigate this new world, its terrain and elements, master its’ inhabitants’ language, and align with its’ culture. If successful, you have would have the opportunity to experience a new world full of natural beauty, empathetic compassion, soulful inter-connection and a myriad of physical sensations. Additionally, this new adventure holds the potential to learn skills and concepts beyond your current imagination. Your mind would expand exponentially. Best of all, this new environment is one full of hope, excitement and support where you can live, learn, grow and love in peace and safety.

What would you feel like and how would you behave once you have returned from your journey? How would it change you? Would you want your loved ones to go to the same place and have the same experience that you had? Would you dedicate your time and effort in assisting with their ability to journey as you did?

The fact is that we, as human beings, have already made the jump into that journey.

The day before you were born, you were very much alive. You did not breathe as you do now, but absorbed your oxygen and nutrients from the fluid that surrounded you. What you heard of the sounds of the world, and whatever you could see, also first passed through this same fluid. You had virtually no control of your body, knew nothing of the new world’s language, and had no idea what another human being even looked like. The journey you were on was completely foreign. If there were a way to infuse the knowledge to the vulnerable you that in 24 hours you would be breathing not water, but air for oxygen, eating food, learning the basics of a foreign language, navigate obstacles, see, hear and feel through new, yet undiscovered senses, in a land you could not even imagine, life would certainly at that point be utterly and completely unrecognizable to you. Yet, that is what ear and every one of us have done. Our truth and very existence changed in yet a few precious moments. I wonder how many of us would have in fact been brave and courageous enough to have been born, if given the choice?

There are other times in history where truths have changed. In Galileo’s time, the truth of the world was that its’ surface was flat. If we traveled to the “edge,” it was believed we would simply fall off into an endless abyss. Today we all know that concept was not the truth, simply “the truth of the time” and what the masses believed in, so for a while, it became their truth. What kind of spirit, fortitude, and belief in oneself, must it have taken for his theories to be pushed through until proven.

Then there were the myriad of courageous explorers in days gone by who traveled and colonized new lands. Armed with tools, ships and the like, their beliefs and sheer will were probably among their most important assets to continue onward. They just kept pushing forward toward a new world, a new life, and new truths.

The funny thing about some truths, is that they are not just there waiting to be discovered. There is no concrete substance to a truth that one seeks and then finds. Truth exists only in the minds of those who believe it, and the resulting culture is the manifestation of those thoughts and beliefs. Truth is evidenced into existence through action and behavior.

Fast forward to 2014 and our cultures have their own sets of current truths. One truth is that we live in a place of much beauty. Our lands are graced with natural beauty from majestic mountains to red rock canyons to turquoise waters and pure sandy beaches. We are blessed with an abundance of colors, changing and blending constantly everywhere, different species of life to live amongst and learn from, and the power of self-renewing passion and inner strength, that we can draw from and share with others of our own kind. Yet, there are other truths. The truths that some subscribe to that cause humans to choose to kill each other, imprison each other, torment, deny, and destroy each other. Clearly the former are simply supplied to us, luckily we come by such beauty naturally. Violence is always a choice. One that begins in the mind, out of fear.

The day before we were born we had no choice, and we had no fear, only progression. There was only one way to go, forward, and why not? Hopefully, that transition was into loving arms and a new beautiful world full of hope and possibility. That was the truth for some people, and not for others. Clearly then there is no one truth, and the only thing we can control is ourselves. There is only your truth that you bring to the world through your thoughts and your actions. This is our choice as human beings.

What would you choose if you had no fear? What could you become? Would you choose to shine with beauty as a gift to all those around you if you knew you would be accepted? Would you, like Galileo, take the natural gifts in front of us and pursue new ways to interpret and combine these elements to open up the boundaries of our environment? Or maybe it is simply enough to see the need in just one other person, and respond. If you are reading this, you probably have been around long enough to figure out, that there are many improvements we can make in the way we are living today and we could all use a little more grace.

No one asked you years ago if you were brave and courageous enough to leave the only home you ever knew and be born alone into a strange new one.Today, however, you can ask yourself if you are brave enough to choose a new attitude of enlightened empowerment, enhanced encouragement, deeper consideration, empathy, kindness, and support. If we did accept this challenge, that would certainly be the ultimate form of self-defense, because we simply would not need any.

How brave will you be in 2014?

Tis The Season

My Dear Friends:

It never cease to amaze me the amount of energy that is put into making this joyful and meaningful holiday season as frenetic as it possibly can be in the endless effort to make it “perfect”. It’s amazing how people will beat each other out to purchase the “perfect” gift, secure the “closest” parking spot or prepare the “perfect” meal. Ever notice how the tensions rise around this time of the year? I cannot tell you how many times in the last few weeks, I have seen people cut each other off in parking lots, in retail shops and in grocery stores. Why? So they wouldn’t miss out on getting “the best” of whatever it is? And Heaven forbid the thought that an establishment just might be out of stock on a particular item or size. Clearly, this is the only day in life where one can enjoy whatever it is that they are fighting for. When children become afraid on line in a store because someone ahead of them is throwing a fit for an out of sock item, I would say that emotions are running a little on the high strung side. So, at the risk of sounding like a humbug, I am offering the following tips:

Expect to run into people who are rude, hasty, obnoxious and self-centered AND have a plan before hand to deal with them. Whether it is a parking spot or other disputed item (even when it is clear that you are in line for it), decide before hand what battles you will pick, how you will respond (if at all) and where you will draw the line in an escalation. Remember, any one who is so attached to something transient that they are willing to behave like a locomotive on a crash course for it, probably could use a hip check on their own life in the first place. Don’t be their brick wall. Let something else stop them in their tracks. You have a life.
Watch yourself in parking lots. They are very dangerous assault areas. Don’t park in isolated areas, and shop at times that make sense so you are not the only one in the parking lot. When leaving your vehicle, LOCK IT, and walk briskly to where you need to be. When approaching your car, look underneath it from a distance. Look into the back seat before you get in. Have your keys ready, throw your purchases inside, get in and LEAVE. Don’t make a phone call, send a text, check your Facebook, rummage through your bag, mark off a checklist., etc. Do these things before you leave the store.
Watch yourself at ATM’s. Supermarket ATM’s are better than the bank’s isolated ones if you need cash after business hours. Supermarkets are open later, and you will be in plain sight of others. Put your cash away before walking to your car.
Keep an eye on your kids, especially in crowded areas. If your kids are cranky or screaming while shopping, it may be best to arrange to go without them. Screaming children infuriate most people on a good day.
Scan your exit points in stores. Know a way out whenever in any public building.
Don’t let yourself be distracted. Be in tune to the environment, especially in crowded areas.
If you see something weird, say something to someone in authority.

Remember, the holidays are not warm and fuzzy for everyone. There are those who have suffered great loss, are alone, destitute or depressed who see festivities as a stark contrast to their perception of their own lives. People do strange things around the holidays, sometimes dangerous things. Give people a break, you never know what they are dealing with and what may set them off. Stay low key while getting your tasks accomplished. Just get in, get what you need and get out. Spend your time where it really counts, with the people you love.

Above all, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right to you, it probably isn’t. I cannot stress the importance of considering a self-defense class. If you consider yourself in a confrontation, think of how much better you would feel if you had more confidence and skills to deal with the situation, not only for yourself, but for any children or loved ones you may be out and about with.

All things being equal, most enjoy the holidays without a hitch, but emotion does run high this time of year. Don’t be caught up in the frenzy, pay attention, and stay safe.

Happy Holidays

~KBC

You Are Worth Defending!

So what are we all about here at MSSD? Are we aggressive, headstrong, adrenaline junkies just looking to change the world? Actually, yes, when it comes to protecting you and your loved ones, you bet!

So why are the people behind MSSD on this mission? We are on this mission because you are special. Emotions and creativity, expressed through our bodies and capabilities, are worth defending and in this far from perfect world (whatever that is) there are people creating circumstance to take those very concepts away. We are not OK with that.

So what is worth defending? Your freedom is worth defending. Your freedom to live your life in this world any way you like, as long as you are not dangerous to others or yourself while in the journey. Freedom from judgments, harassment, emotional harm, physical violence. The freedom to be who you are. Without these freedoms and others like them, we are not living fully, but just existing, moving from place to place like the quarter in the shell game, pushed and directed from another’s motivation. Usually, their motivation is not inline with our true selves. Then we are cheated, and so is the world.

When you go to bed at night, you close and lock your doors, (hopefully). You do this because you need to be protected while you sleep, so your mind can relax and your body can replenish while you settle. You need to be safe in this place, so you can wake up in the morning and be all that you can be. Our bodies are our shells, and if we don’t learn the skills we need to keep them safe, how will we share our unique selves with our loved ones and the world?

So those of us behind Mindset want to help you make your self-protection a more natural process. We are not going to persuade you into taking a fight into the world. Far from it. What we want is for you to be free to be who you are, so you can help make this world a better place. And, we want to give you tools, to protect your precious self, because there is not one person in this world who has a right to take you, your loved ones, or your freedoms away!

Integrative Self-Defense

What is Integrative Self-Defense?

Integrated Self-Defense is the process by which self-defense, be it of your body, emotions, spirituality, mind, or other part of “you” is incorporated into your psyche, allowing you not only to know self-defense, but to believe 100% that you are worth defending. I believe that for many women, self-defense is like receiving a compliment. You know you have received one, appreciate that you have, but somewhere on the inside, doubt our worthiness. Integrative self-defense is believing that you are worth defending, much the same way we would believe in other things without question.

You already possess this ability. You always have. When you were younger, you took things on face value. If someone you trusted told you something, like a parent or teacher, you simply believed them. End of story. It became your truth. Then you ventured out into the world and realized you had your own truth, some of your beliefs from childhood fit your truth some did not. That is how we differentiate from one and another.

Many of our “truths” have come from places that have ulterior motives for us believing in them. They may come from media, societies, peer pressure, family pressure, men, other women, or even people who have not come to their own truths and tinker with yours in the process. We may feel wounded, hollowed out in our stomachs. We respond by putting up our defenses, but often these defenses come out in ways that make matters worse.

Integrative defense is simply identifying when someone or something has crossed our boundaries and believing that we have the right to respond to it in a way that minimizes or eliminates our exposure. We do not have to be uncomfortable at the hands of others, only at the hands of ourselves when we are looking to grow.

Wouldn’t it be a different world, if we believed we are worth defending every time we hear a put down, or face an unfounded insecurity, experience peer pressure, consider our body image, or the myriad of other doubts that we face on an almost every day basis? Certainly we do feel these ways, whether we realize it or not, and we do respond.

The goal of Integrated Self-Defense, therefore, is to create an unconscious internal, cellular belief system that responds appropriately in the face of personal boundary infringement. We all have the right to develop in a positive environment, and to believe that we deserve to. After all, how can we be accountable for our own actions if we are dictated by others?

~KBC

To Believe or Not to Believe?

It all comes down to what you believe. Don’t you think? Some people believe the following so they don’t act today:

I’m young, I’ll quit smoking when I’m older
Someone else will do it
I don’t need health insurance, I’m healthy
I live in a good neighborhood, I’m not worried about crime
The Red Sox will never win a World Series at Fenway

Well, we know what happened with the Red Sox, and look how unlikely THAT was! (sorry Bosox fans)!

The fact is that what we believe becomes our truth, but that is not necessarily “the world’s truth”.

The world is full of marvelous, beautiful, inspiring truths, however, that is not always the case. There are plenty of ugly truths out there in the world. I am quite sure everyone is aware that rapes, kidnappings, domestic violence, murder and the like happen every day, in far away lands, and our own, and in every country around the world. I am far to believe that anyone is in denial about this. However, if you took a poll and asked how many of those same people who believe this have learned personal self-defense, I think the number of “no” answers would be alarming. Why?

I think there are several reasons, carrying some validity. Here are my thoughts:

I have taken precautions, I lock my doors, have an alarm system and have created a barrier environment around my place of residence.Great! But that won’t help you if barriers are broken. If that were enough, there would be no breaking and entering, rape, murder etc..People break the barriers others set for themselves every single day in a myriad of ways. It is just a matter of how far one will go once they are broken, and one never knows.
I live in a safe neighborhood and crime is virtually non-existent here. Crime is everywhere. You may live in a neighborhood, where the likelihood is less, and that’s great, but there is no neighborhood in the world where there is no crime. There is no such thing as a SAFE neighborhood, only SAFER neighborhoods. There are victims in every neighborhood and if you or a loved one are the victim, you will no longer believe that you live in a safe place.
I know how to protect myself/my family. Really? Doing something is better than doing nothing, but unless you have fought off an attacker(s) successfully while in a state of panic, in a systematic way that can be repeated, the truth is you only “think” you know the answer to that question. The truth is you need practice, you need to be trained and you need to be attacked in a high adrenaline scenario to know if you can be effective. And even that is no guarantee because you will know that is part of your training, but it is a heck of a way to give yourself some leverage in the event of a real attack!
I am smart, alert to my surroundings and make good decisions. Wonderful! That’s half the battle, however, does anyone really believe that the only victims of crime are stupid, unaware and make poor decisions? I do not want to compromise the importance of being alert and making good decisions as this is crucial to one’s safety, but the sad truth is that bad things happen to smart, alert and good decision makers every day.

I am not a doom sayer. Those who know me know I believe in beauty. I do my best to accept world reality and I will guard against attack.

Please go get the training you need to defend yourself! Teach your children to defend themselves. This is not teaching your children to fight, it is about teaching your children to protect themselves. Do you look both ways before you cross the street, even though you may live in a less trafficked neighborhood? Do you teach your children to do the same? Of course you do, because getting hit by a car is not worth the effort it takes to look both ways and prevent from being hit. It is no different with personal protection. Being a victim of an attack is not worth the effort it takes to learn skills to protect yourself. Don’t believe me? Ask any attack victim if they could go back in time and learn more skills, that is if you now one who has survived.

~KBC