Time For Change

written by Kris Costa

The hearts at Mindset are deeply saddened by recent events at Umpqua Community College.

Unfortunately, it is my belief that this will not be the last school shooting to take place. The rash of violence spreading across the nation against our schools and the innocents within is nothing short of evil.

My appreciation goes to the first responders, medical responders, crisis centers and others, whose grim tasks now include and necessitate drill upon drill of reacting to such domestic terrorist emergencies. No longer carrying an element of sheer surprise, these tragedies have become scenarios whose practiced responses are now a matter of protocol in our American culture. The re-enforced skill sets of our task forces, and other emergency preparedness teams and individuals have no doubt increased the likelihood of surviving such a horrifying scenario, however, much needs to be discussed and implemented to avert the terrorist act in the first place. It is not enough to deal with the after effects. These occurrences MUST be eliminated. It is my opinion that the most influential to facilitate effective change in our own schools lie with us, the civilian public.

I often wonder how many parents have asked the serious questions to our schools regarding  security and preventative measures, and if so asked, what are the responses?

Our government representatives and the like, will address various talking points around gun control, mental health, etc., all of which are vital and valid and necessary discussions to have,  for quite some time to come. However, let us not forget that it is not the government’s responsibility to appoint school security to all the schools in the nation and regulate it. Our Legislative branch will provide rules to govern society, and the Judicial branch will set ramifications when violations occur. The police and others will respond to such violations. However, the job of keeping our schools safe lie with us, the proactive general public. It simply is not acceptable or effective to wait around in fear for someone, or some other body of people, to do the job we need to be doing, which is stand up for safety of our youth and other personnel in schools.

If you are a parent, have you questioned your child’s school on security procedures? Do you know what the procedure is concerning lock down? Do you know if those procedures are drilled with any regularity? What situations are covered? Most importantly, how is the school addressing preventative measures? How is the school physically secured? Are there increased security measures in place?  Are there “No Gun Zone” signs posted? Does your school believe that is a deterrent? Would they consider additional preventative security measures if the budget for such could be supplemented? Would you pull your child/young adult out of the school if you were not satisfied with their answers? Is there a parent group formed and it is applying pressure  (and support) to the school to make the hard decisions and take serious action?

This is only the tip of the iceberg. Do your children know how to adapt to life where they hear about school shootings in the news regularly? Do they really feel safe? And there is so much more.

If it is not worth the effort to find the answers to the above, and more so, to do everything possible in our power to protect our children in school, then we may loose a lot more lives waiting for others to address these issues on our behalf. I believe in prevention, and it begins in our own neighborhoods. Speak up, form a collective, offer solutions, pressure the schools to respond, financially contribute. It’s not about who “should” be doing what, it is about doing the best we can and now. Lives matter.

There are so many facets to the issue of school violence and violence prevention. Enforcing physical boundaries against it, before it happens, may just be the easy part.

Here is the real question: If we could go back to the day before each school shooting, knowing what we know now, would there be one thing that could be done differently?  If the answer is no, then there is no need to pay attention to this post.

~KBC

Domestic Abuse & Brainwashing

DomesticAbuseandBrainwashing-IzzoCarpelMiller-Vol1Issue5

written by

Ellie Izzo, PhD, LPC and
Vicki Carpel Miller, BSN, MS, LMFT
http://www.vicarioustrauma.com

Domestic Abuse is an umbrella term that covers different dimensions of abusive relationships: verbal, emotional, physical, and spiritual. It is important to understand and recognize the traits of an abuser as well as the traits of being in the victim position in order to transform into healthy change. Here are some of the traits of an abusive partner:

• Competitive with his/her
• Quick with comebacks or put-downs
• Controlling
• Critical
• Lack of compassion
• Extreme
• Unable to be empathic
• Has difficulty listening
• Irritable
• Hostile
• Angers easily
• Shuts Down/goes dark
• Acts like a nice person to others
• Often is involved in one or more addictions

After living with this type of personality over time, the victim begins to experience a form of brainwashing. Here are the characteristics of brainwashing:
1. Omnipotence – the abuser behaves like he/she has all the power
2. Futility of the situation – the victim Is led to believe there is no way out
3. Threats – the abuser intimidates and undermines the confidence of the victim
4. Isolation – the victim is frequently barred from having outside attachments
5. Occasional Crumb – once in a while the abuser does something nice to keep the victim believing that things are going to improve.

Here is an example of the abusive system: Bill and Mary were married for three years and were very involved in their church activities. Bill was extremely jealous if Mary wanted to do any activity outside of work or the church, and would become threatened, and would proceed to “brainwash” his wife. Let’s look at the brainwashing cycle using Bill and Mary as an example.

1. Omnipotence – Bill was an elder in the church and wielded his power as a Godlike figure. He would speak down to Mary and criticize her imperfections.
2. Futility of the situation – Bill would denigrate Mary’s looks, her lack of education, and her confidence; often saying things like, “no one would ever want you.”
3. Threats – Bill would threaten that if Mary left him, she would be damned by the congregation and banned from the church, her primary support system.
4. Isolation – Bill prohibited Mary from being away from him by tormenting her with constant calls and texts when she was away from the home.
5. Occasional Crumb – when Bill sensed that Mary was maxed out from his abusive behavior, he would switch gears and temporarily act like the partner she always wished he would be.

If any of these red flags apply to you, please remember what you deserve to experience in your relationship:

• To communicate and feel heard and respected for your thoughts and feelings
• To feel safe and acceptable just as you are
• To not suffer personal attacks.To be able to accept constructive feedback without feeling worthless.
• To receive a genuine, heartfelt apology,without caveats or conditions.
• To be with a partner who can take responsibility for his/her anger and communicate it in a constructive way that serves to bring you closer together.
• The right to say “no.”
• The freedom to grow and experience outside interests.

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you will need help to debrief from the brainwashing and guidance to lead you out of the fog of conflict. Please seek the appropriate support and you will find your strength and renew your faith in yourself.

ONLINE RESOURCES FOR HELP

Emotional Abuse
www.eqi.org/eabuse1.htm

Understanding Emotional Abuse
www.focusonthefamily.com/abuse 

Emotional Abuse
www.women’s health.gov/emotionalabuse

Read more about Domestic Abuse in our March Issue of Mindset
http://joom.ag/3UOX

 

 

Modern Day Chivalry

Chivalry Cover

written by David Bravo

Romance novels and blockbuster movies have been written about men who are courageous, strong, disciplined, loyal, generous and honest. Such works move men deep in their souls, because many of us know we are not who we were born to be.

Chivalry, which may be defined as a code of conduct and rules for behavior of an individual or group, dates back to the Medieval period which lasted from the 5th to the 15th century in Europe. The Medieval period began when the Western Roman Empire collapsed, continued through the Renaissance Era and into the late Middle Ages. Chivalry is often associated with the title of knighthood, a rank of high honor conferred upon men by a monarch or other leader. During this period, knighthood was typically bestowed to horse-mounted warriors who exemplified military prowess, gallantry, unwavering loyalty, social fellowship and service to others.

Knights were closely linked with the Catholic church and displayed moral characteristics such as: honor, courtesy and love, and were expected to protect those who could not protect themselves, particularly elders, women and children. Additionally, knights were highly disciplined, honest, and respected the honor of women at all times.

Now that it is clear where chivalry came from and its premises, let’s investigate its application in modern day society.

First and foremost, I believe it is hard wired into every man by God Himself to have the heart of a warrior, as described above. God Himself is a warrior and has made men in His image. Sadly, it seems that many men do not recognize this aspect of their nature. Since we live in a nation that is heavily protected by so many of these modern day knights, the rest of us may believe that there is no need to be a knightly man. I would categorically disagree. On the contrary, we are in dire need of men to be knights now more than any other time in history.

We watch as traditional marriages decline and rates of domestic violence rise. We witness the objectification of women and watch as pornography becomes more and more accessible to our youth. Human sex trafficking is one of the quickest rising crimes today, both within and outside of our country’s borders, and illegal drugs are becoming legal. It is hard not to see the cause of the degradation of our society and our world, as the fall of man and our inability to live up to who we are all born to be. Can we not look at man and…read more here

I Challenge You!

…to get the stats!

If you picked up a newspaper, (ok, I am over 30) errr, or googled the news, or better yet, contacted your local police department, you probably would be shocked to see the amount of crime that is going on in your neighborhoods.  My office is in Scottsdale, AZ., so that’s what I checked. I simply entered “scottsdale violent crime statistics” in the search field and here is what I found:

2010 Crime Rate Indexes Scottsdale, AZ 85260 Arizona United States
Total Crime Risk 63 143 100
Murder Risk 58 144 100
Rape Risk 32 98 100
Robbery Risk 29 102 100
Assault Risk 33 112 100
Burglary Risk 66 139 100
Larceny Risk 48 127 100
Motor Vehicle Theft Risk 96 220 100

The data for Scottsdale, AZ 85260 may also contain data for the following areas: Scottsdale

“Crime Risk Index (100 = National Average): Index score for an area is compared to the national average of 100. A score of 200 indicates twice the national average total crime risk, while 50 indicates half the national risk. We encourage you to consult with a knowledgeable local real estate agent or contact the local police department for any additional information. Crime Indexes are based on numerous current and historical datasets as well as proprietary modeling algorithms which estimate values at more granular geographic levels when specific data is either unavailable or impractical to aggregate. While every effort is made to ensure accuracy, these are estimates and should only be used as a guide. For detailed information regarding crime and safety in a community, please contact local law enforcement agencies.”

Hmmm, although I am glad that Scottsdale falls under the national average in some crimes  (which we all know is too much to begin with) I wasn’t exactly pleased with the murder risk value. Burglary and rape didn’t exactly relax me either, nor did an overall crime risk of 63 which inched up toward the national average, and this is “Scottsdale”. Look at the rest of Arizona. Not too pretty at all.

Having moved here from NYC, I was wondering what was going on in that neck of the woods.  So I picked an affluent part of town located by Lincoln Center and the Julliard School to search next. Here is what I found there, and the comparison to Scottsdale.

2010 Crime Rate Indexes Scottsdale, AZ 85260 New York, NY 10023 United States
Total Crime Risk 63 133 100
Murder Risk 58 116 100
Rape Risk 32 80 100
Robbery Risk 29 432 100
Assault Risk 33 144 100
Burglary Risk 66 57 100
Larceny Risk 48 81 100
Motor Vehicle Theft Risk 96 111 100

If you live in Scottsdale, you may at first glance, think whew! (If you live in NYC this doesn’t surprise you, unless of course you live by Lincoln Center). However, Scottsdale, ask yourself two questions:

  1. Am I comfortable with the levels of crime that does exist in Scottsdale? Let’s face it, its not zero. And..
  2. Do I travel outside of Scottsdale, or do I live in a bubble?

I bet you’ve been to Tempe, a big college town as you probably know:

2010 Crime Rate Indexes Scottsdale, AZ 85260 Tempe, AZ United States
Total Crime Risk 63 162 100
Murder Risk 58 75 100
Rape Risk 32 117 100
Robbery Risk 29 115 100
Assault Risk 33 94 100
Burglary Risk 66 119 100
Larceny Risk 48 213 100
Motor Vehicle Theft Risk 96 288 100

OMG! Look at those numbers!  I am not saying this to scare you into taking care of your own personal safety and protection. I am saying it because it is happening. By the statistics in Scottsdale, 68% of you will not have a rape go to completion, however, 32% will! If you are in Tempe, the rape statistic goes up to 117, which is higher than NYC! Think again, where would you send your kids to school and what do we need to be teaching our girls??????

I want every woman to understand that learning to protect yourself is simply a VERY GOOD THING to know.

Stay safe out there, it’s Friday night. And we all know what alcohol and partying does to people’s judgment.

~KBC

 

3/1- Women’s Self-Defense Workshop Photos

The women who participated in the workshop alongside trainer David Bravo and his helper.
The women who participated in the workshop alongside trainer David Bravo and his helper.

The Women’s Self-Defense Workshop on March 1, 2014 was such an empowering experience. Throughout the workshop participants became aware of several things;

1. There are so many misconceptions when it comes to self-defense & attacks against women.For example, the neighborhood is safe, using common sense will prevent attacks, and there is no way to get away from a stonger attacker,therefore compliance is best.

2. How to utilize tactical thinking instead of emotional thinking( getting past the anxiety) in life-like scenarios.

3. How to establish strong verbal boundaries and portray confidence so that we are not seen as a victim and therefore are less likely to become a victim.

4. That women have so many weapons to utilize if we are faced with an attack that have nothing to do with size, weight,or strength. We can do damage by using tactics like knee kicks, open handed hits, scratching ( we have nails!), biting, poking eyes etc.

Mindset's new Personal Assistant (left of trainer David Bravo) along with two other women who participated in the workshop
Mindset’s new Personal Assistant (left of trainer David Bravo) along with two other women who participated in the workshop
A participant practicing the "Knee-Kick" tactic taught in the workshop.
A participant practicing the “Knee-Kick” tactic taught in the workshop.

Bringing Sexy Back!

Bringing Sexy Back!!!
Bringing Sexy Back!!!

Mindset Self-Defense Magazine is on a mission to help our daughters and sons experience dating the way it used to be.
Fun, sexy and never, ever easy! That’s what made it so great.

SO
Here’s the message:

Girls – want a great guy? Respect yourself!
Guys – want a great girl, man up and respect her!

Get to know each other, have fun, be friends, chase, flirt!
Take you time!
Great partners aren’t easy, or every one would have one.

Bring Sexy Back!

JOIN THE MINDSET MOVEMENT TO ENCOURAGE MUTUAL RESPECT BETWEEN MEN & WOMAN.
PROTECT OUR TEENS!

HELP SUPPORT OUR CAMPAIGN BY CLICKING ON OUR THUNDERCLAP!

https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/8884-bring-sexy-back-with-mindset?locale=en

THANK YOU!!!

Act Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

“Instead of explaining why you’re complaining, change your reality altogether.”

MIND:

When we think of what holds us back, we generally think of things outside of ourselves. It’s our rational mind’s way of finding a source for the “problem” and the ego’s way of shirking off responsibility and true independence. While the people, places, and situations around us may not be ideal, our reality is contingent upon the state of being we choose to create from within.

Many of us are familiar with those people in our lives who will seize any opportunity to complain about their current situations. Not only will they complain, but they’ll endlessly explain their justifications. When these people receive help, however, they typically reject it outright or don’t put enough faith and trust in the potential solution in order for it to make a significant change. This is because these types of people aren’t actually looking for their situations to change; they’re simply lost in their created cycle and refuse to make the necessary changes to get out. After all, doing the same thing over a long period of time can bring us to a nice sense of complacency, no matter what the situation is like.

The next time you feel the desire to complain or explain why you’re complaining, try using the same amount of effort to come up with creative solutions around the issue at hand. When we focus on the negative aspects of a situation, we will call more of that into our lives. Instead, focus on what it is that would make you feel happy, fulfilled, and abundant. Do this until you can feel it in a real, visceral way, and don’t be afraid to “dream big.” When you’ve captured that feeling, hold onto it and fuel that energy into all that you do, all that you feel, and all that you are.

Ironically, many of the times we face opposition or feel as though we’re dealing with a problematic situation, we’re not dealing with our own issues at all, but rather the issues we’ve taken on from others. For example, we all have met people who’ve said “I wish I could do ______ with my life.” Though what’s filled within the blank often seems farfetched, most times it’s quite achievable, albeit sometimes by being tweaked a bit. As beings living on this Earth and within the scrutiny of “society,” we tend to shoot ourselves down before we’ve had a chance to fly. We think, we feel, and we stop. What we should really be doing is thinking and feeling less about our current situations and instead take action to gain tracking on our future. Then, once we’ve made several real attempts, we can better gauge where we are and what we can put in place to get to where we want or need to be.

Your effort should always be indicative of what you desire. If you’re willing to complain about something 10 times a day, you should be just as willing to put the effort forth to usher change into your life 10 times a day. If these numbers don’t match, be honest with yourself. The goal is to reach a point in which you don’t feel it necessary to complain at all and naturally strive to change your life in positive, impactive ways. If you’re living solely in your mind rather than creating your physical reality, you’ll never be satisfied. Don’t be afraid to make what seem like mistakes, either. Be brave enough to step outside of your comfort zone and share yourself with others and with the world itself.

BODY:

The body is an extraordinary vessel that gives us the opportunity to experience life here on Earth. It heals itself and asks for very little. Though our bodies are not who we are on a soul level, they must be respected. It’s important for us to treat them with the right care and consideration in order for us to optimize our Earthly experience. Know what you’re putting into your body. You wouldn’t blindly take up someone else’s belief system that’s thrown at you, and the same should be true for your body. This holds true on both a physical level and how you view your body.

When you’re choosing the foods you eat, research what they contain. Try your best to eat a healthy, well-rounded diet. So often we deem food and exercise as “things for other people,” but simple changes can have profound effects – not experienced or felt until they’re put into practice. The better we treat our bodies, the higher our energy will be, and the more adequately prepared we’ll be for the challenges we face and the things we’d like to accomplish.

Be sure to not let the opinions or lifestyles of other people overtake you. Though you should be receptive to science and information provided to you, it’s incredibly important to live life on your own terms. If people around you have a body image issue, don’t take their issue on yourself. Be comfortable in your body, listen to it, and work in concert with it. The more in sync you are with your body, the more you will be in all areas of your life. The best practice to put in place with the body is one with discipline. If you’re not a person who naturally thinks to exercise or eat properly, start making a list and follow it one task at a time without glossing over all of it and feeling overwhelmed. Some people have a hard time taking initiative on their own, so seek out community and try to get a friend or a group together to exercise or construct some meal plans together. Not only is it helpful to have people in your circle who are on the same page, but it’s fun and exciting and will help elongate the momentum you build.

SOUL:

Taking action on a soul-level is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Your soul is who, what, where, how, and why you are. If you don’t connect to it, your foundation will be rocky at best. Because the soul is not a physical entity, people often make the mistake of thinking it’s wishy-washy and can be viewed and treated as such. That mentality can’t be farther from the truth, and should instead be approached with as much discipline and severity as any other part of your life. Grounding or centering yourself will help you cope with the stressors and drama of living life as a human being. If you’re sensitive, you’ll pick up on other people’s energies easily and sometimes it’s hard to tune these frequencies out. Most of us in our daily lives encounter a vast array of people, both online and off. Without noticing it, we’re picking up on the vibrations they emit – and usually, we’re taking them with us into our very private, sacred places within us without even noticing it. This is one of the root causes of having anxiety or feeling “off” without good reason. If you’re feeling this way, start to peel the layers off like an onion. Whenever an untoward thought or feeling creeps its way into your being, single it out and affirm that it is not a part of your life path or what you need to experience at this time. Keep repeating this until you’ve sent away all that no longer serves you.

When you experience thoughts or feelings that make you uncomfortable but are in fact lessons you need to experience, simply quiet the mind and step into your own private stillness. Then, ask what it is you need to learn from this lesson and how you can process it in an non-harmful, peaceful way. This method can be put in place in all areas of your life with all issues. Remember that the experience is not the same as how we interpret it; though Earth can be a very rigorous and grueling place to grow and evolve, we endure experiences because they’re for our higher good – or someone else’s. If you have a traumatic experience but process it in a healthy way, you can then go on to share the experience with others in a beneficial way which can help prevent pain and turmoil in their lives.

Another great way to connect to the soul is by means of breathing exercises and meditation. So many people write these two things off because they’ve been branded as something exclusive to monks or spiritual masters. On the contrary, these two processes are readily and easily accessible to all. When doing a breathing or meditation exercise, focus on quieting the body down. Get yourself into a comfortable position that won’t distract you in any way. This can mean lying down, sitting upright in a chair, sitting pretzel-style  on the floor, or any other position that resonates with you. There truly is no wrong way – it is your experience, and yours alone. When you’ve gotten comfortable, visualize a white light pouring in from the top of your head down through to your toes. This represents pure, cleansing energy that helps to wipe out all the debris within you in all forms. Once you’re filled with this light, take a deep breath in through the nose and visualize this air as being entirely pure, safe, clean, positive, and invigorating. Hold your breath for a few seconds and then exhale through the mouth. The exhale should represent the emptying out of anything negative or that which you wish to do away with. The meditation part generally happens quite naturally after the breathing exercise. Simply relax and enter a very serene, safe place within you that isn’t contingent upon anything Earthly or man-made. Most people find this to be a place of rejuvenation and will receive some of their best ideas for creative projects or future endeavors.

After you’ve connected with your soul, you won’t differentiate you and your soul as being apart from one another. You’ll simply feel connected, whole, and at one with the Universe. All of the best and most important work comes from this place within you, so trust in it and allow for it to grow into something magnificent.

Affirmation:

“I am fully capable of taking charge of my life. I’m making the commitment in the present moment to use my energy for the betterment of my life as opposed to the destruction of it. I become the reality I allow for, and I choose the reality that serves my highest good and the highest good of those around me.”

Blake,Kaiden
Kaiden Blake

Kaiden Blake, recognized internet personality and artist, is currently anticipating the release of his forthcoming book. Kaiden’s incredibly strong bond with his fans, inspire personal empowerment across the globe.

Bully Proof Your Children

Bully

by David Bravo

Being a victim of bullying myself when I was young, I understand the effects bullying can have on a child’s life. All the motivation that a child has to succeed in school, sports, and any endeavor in life, comes from a child’s confidence and self-esteem. A bully robs a child of those very important attributes, and that can have a negative impact on the rest of their life.

Of all the memories I have of growing up, the times I was bullied remain some of the most vivid of all my memories. I can still tap into the emotions I felt in those moments. Lets first make sure we have a clear understanding of what bullying is and is not. If someone calls you a name, teases you about something, attempts to manipulate you for their benefit, or even puts their hands on you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are getting bullied.

There are plenty of mean, selfish people in the world who do and say such things to people. Bullying is when someone, or a group of people, single one person or a group of people out, and routinely aggravate, belittle, humiliate, intimidate, abuse, etc. that person or group. Bullying is usually not a one-time, isolated incident. It typically continues for days, weeks, or even months, if not dealt with.

Bullies are often misrepresented as children with low self-esteem, or children who suffer from abuse at home. In fact these categories make up a very small percentage of the bullies who are out there. According to the book, “Bullies and Victims in Schools,” by Valerie E. Besag, 96% of children will be bullied at least once in their lifetime. Of those children, 46% will suffer poor grades or will abstain from extra-curricular activities because of the bullying.

I want to help you give your child the confidence, self-esteem, and knowledge needed to defend themselves against bullies. Teaching children self-respect and self-worth are where the help must start. Instill in children, a belief system whereby they can say “I am valuable and worth protecting.” Furthermore, 2% of those children will commit suicide because of constant harassment from classmates.

When those beliefs are instilled in children two things occur:

1. They will have the confidence to stand up for themselves when faced with abuse.

2. They will realize the value of respect and will be less likely to bully others.

HOW TO HANDLE A BULLY

This is an integral part of our philosophy at Premier Martial Arts. It is in understanding conflict that we can begin to overcome problems, and prevent it. If conflict should arise, we have the option of neutralizing it quickly and humanely. Over the years, we have devised this simple and effective program to resolve conflict and give the student a way to resolve a conflict peacefully and walk away with dignity. A great teacher taught me that the best way of self defense is to “have no enemies”. This is the basis for this guide.

MAKE FRIENDS. The person with the most friends always wins! If, through kindness and respect, diplomacy and charm, we set out to be the friendliest student at our school, we are less likely be bullied. As parents, we can help our children build these valuable social skills through modeling and role playing.

TELL EVERYONE you have a problem with this person, especially parents and teachers. If any trouble arises, everyone will know who created the problem. It is the responsibility of the SCHOOL to keep our children safe from bullying. Some schools claim to have a “ZERO TOLERANCE” policy. But many times this is just lip service. You can’t prevent bullying before it happens, and schools don’t expel every student who bullies others. However, if bullying is reported by your child, the school MUST take action immediately to address the situation. If it continues the bully must be removed from the school.

AVOID. Keep away from the bully. Don’t return harsh insults, or looks. Stay out of the same room and simply don’t listen to their comments. You can’t be bullied if the bully isn’t in your presence.

DRAW A LINE.Teach your child to create a safety cushion if someone bullies them or makes them feel scared. When someone is bullying you and you can’t get an adult involved, it’s best to take action as soon as you can. If someone calls you a name or puts their hands on you, tell them to stop. As you get older you will learn the importance of handling problems when they are small. Remember, it’s a lot easier to blow out a match then to put out a forest fire. Do not ignore problems. If your belly hurts, tell your mom, if you’re having trouble in school, ask the teacher for help right away and if a bully is picking on you, take action and tell them to stop. Bullies want to pick on easy victims who won’t stick up for themselves.

If the bully continues, then you will increase the volume of your voice and put on a more intense facial expression. Once again create space, and in a louder more confident voice say: “I said, don’t touch me!!!”Tell them: “I don’t want to fight, but I will protect myself!” Show confidence, get double arms distance in between you and them and put your hands up.

NEUTRALIZE. This means to run away, defend yourself and do whatever is necessary to keep yourself from being injured. No one has the right to hurt you. And no one has the right to put their hands on you in an aggressive manner. You DON’T have to wait for them to attack you before you take action, but BE CAREFUL!! If you don’t have the fighting skills to protect yourself, don’t fight. It will only lead to you taking a beating and getting further humiliated. Instead, get the training you need to protect yourself. While nobody has a right to hurt you in any way, YOU are responsible for your own personal safety and developing the skills necessary to protect yourself.

Premier Martial Arts

Offering the finest in family martial arts, our Personal Achievement Program focuses on human development. Our proven character building Black Belt Success System instills empowering life skills including:

* Self Esteem Building – promoting healthy attitudes and well being about oneself 
* Focus Skills – promotes increased concentration and listening skills which improve grades
* Discipline & Respect – instills good habits at home & school

* Self Control – to focus energy in a positive manner
* Goal Setting & Achievement – to break through limitation

For seminars or information on classes where these strategies and more are taught, call Premier Martial Arts at:
(602) 909-0840.

Tough Decisions

“The liquid burns your innocent throat as it slowly makes its way from the bottle to the inside of your sober mouth. The first swig is tough, the second also does not come with ease, but with each swig the sting decreases along with your judgment. Your vision becomes blurry, your stride is not so steady and your mind is far from clear. You look around yourself and notice that most of your friends are in the same state as you are, if not worse. The party has died down and most of your fellow partiers are now coupled away in the bedroom or heaping heavily over a guest room toilet. You have come to the conclusion that everyone has had enough to drink, or maybe even a little too much.

roadview

Your thoughts, as you applied your make up prior to the party, was to simply have a good time and come home safely. Your thoughts now, inebriated and short of judgment, are scattered so far across your brain that even you can’t tell what they are. The only thing you are thinking of currently is getting home. As the thought of your comfortable bed dances through your brain, your car keys begin to tease you from inside your purse. They invite you to insert them in the car ignition and press your right foot to the gas; bring everyone to their beds. You know that this is a bad idea, although at the time it seems to be the easiest, but when is the easiest decision ever the best? No one wants to wait for a cab, no one wants to pay for a cab and conclusively, none of your friends want to even take cab. You are the most clear headed out of all your friends, although you really are not clear headed at all. It seems a unanimous vote has taken place, and the winner is you, you need to drive everyone home. Hey, you’re only a few blocks from home anyway, right?

You elude the thoughts in your head that encourage you to call home and tell your parents that you need to be picked up. You are scared of the consequences that they may implement if they were to find out you are stranded and drunk at a party. What you are not clearly thinking about enough, however, is the consequences that you may face if you drive while drunk. At first the idea of driving everyone home seems completely ridiculous, you have had way too much to drink and driving your car is just completely out of the question. You decide to call a cab and are put on hold for quite some time, how annoying this all seems to be. As the line holds, the idea of drunk driving rapidly becomes more and more appealing to you. Your stomach is hurting, your head is pounding and all you want to do is collapse onto your bed in the comfort of your own home. Your brain suggests that you call your parents, they always said to call them in an emergency,  but is this really an emergency? Calling your parents is just out of the question entirely; partying, drinking, and boys were not on the agenda you told your dad earlier this evening. Your friends are becoming ill beside you as your phone is still on hold; you become increasingly anxious and unsure of what to do. You begin to regret the drinking that you embarked on earlier and realize that this night was not thought through enough. You are frustrated and annoyed; before you even realize it, you’re on the highway, foot on the pedal and hazy eyes on the road in front of you….”

Everyone, at one point in their lives or another, adults included, think to themselves that nothing can happen to them. One commonality of the human condition, is that at times we believe that we are invincible. Most human beings prefer to be in control of things. For example, many people are afraid of flying. This would seem to be due to the fact that you are suspended in a large object and flying above solid ground, tens of thousands of feet in the air. For some, this is the reason that people are afraid of flying; but for the vast majority, what people are really scared of, is the lack of control over their lives. Many individuals would be completely comfortable flying thousands of feet above solid ground, if they were the ones in the cockpit. This relates to drunk driving in the sense that many people, especially teenagers, falsely believe that while being drunk they still have enough control to operate a moving vehicle. Warning to everyone who has a pulse on this planet; you are not “Superman” and you cannot drive anything while drunk!

Young adults are faced with tough decisions every day. They need support to make these decisions because it is not always easy to make healthy choices and it is especially difficult when you are young. We young people need the support and knowledge of those who have lived longer. Our parent’s mistakes not only to help them grow, but to help us grow. Teenagers should not be afraid to talk to their parents!!! I believe that I can speak for all parents, when I say that if you are drunk and at a party, call for help no matter how “grounded” you think you could be; whether it is a parent, a grandparent or even an older sibling, just call. Every twenty-two minutes a person is killed in an alcohol-related motor vehicle accident! (FirstEagle.com). If there is one thing that I have learned, as cheesy as it may sound, it is that your parents are your number one friends; they will have your back whenever you need it, they will pick you up when you are down lower then you ever thought possible and they will love you through even the worst of mistakes. The one thing your parents cannot do, is help you grow if you are dead. Drunk driving will not only kill you, but it can kill any other person on the road or in the car with you.

“You are driving steadily, for what it seems like a couple minutes. Your friends are loudly laughing in the backseat and you are having a hard time focusing. Your head is throbbing uncontrollably and you are beginning to swerve on the icy roads that lead to your house. As you turn around to tell your friends to be quiet, you feel an outrageous spark of pain and suddenly, everything becomes blank. The next time you open your eyes, you’re staring at a broken and blood spattered windshield. You painfully turn around, feeling each of your ribs grind against each other with extreme discomfort. It is at this moment that you begin to weep at the sight of your permanently silenced friends in the backseat of your now crumbled car”.

-ARC

Women’s Self-Defense Workshop Offered – Scottsdale, AZ

wsd.2014editedINTRODUCING PREDATOR PERSONAL PROTECTION!

 This innovative Self-Defense training course is unlike any other. Real attack scenarios, real learning!

“What are you trained to do to protect yourself or a loved one in a violent attack”?

This workshop will:

Develop your skill to NOT become a victim, regardless of age or fitness level. You will learn “real world” techniques that will work on any attacker.

Build your confidence by teaching what you need to know to handle most violent situations and get home safely.

Learn to think tactically and instinctually, instead of emotionally and fearfully, to violence of threat of violence.

If you take just one step forward in personal protection, take this class.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Taught by David Bravo
4th Degree Black Belt
Personal Protection Expert
Tactical Response Trainer
Over 19 years experience.

Saturday: 2/08/2014
10:00am – 2:00pm
Price: $99

Client Registration is limited. Call Today.
602.909.0840