Time For Change

written by Kris Costa

The hearts at Mindset are deeply saddened by recent events at Umpqua Community College.

Unfortunately, it is my belief that this will not be the last school shooting to take place. The rash of violence spreading across the nation against our schools and the innocents within is nothing short of evil.

My appreciation goes to the first responders, medical responders, crisis centers and others, whose grim tasks now include and necessitate drill upon drill of reacting to such domestic terrorist emergencies. No longer carrying an element of sheer surprise, these tragedies have become scenarios whose practiced responses are now a matter of protocol in our American culture. The re-enforced skill sets of our task forces, and other emergency preparedness teams and individuals have no doubt increased the likelihood of surviving such a horrifying scenario, however, much needs to be discussed and implemented to avert the terrorist act in the first place. It is not enough to deal with the after effects. These occurrences MUST be eliminated. It is my opinion that the most influential to facilitate effective change in our own schools lie with us, the civilian public.

I often wonder how many parents have asked the serious questions to our schools regarding  security and preventative measures, and if so asked, what are the responses?

Our government representatives and the like, will address various talking points around gun control, mental health, etc., all of which are vital and valid and necessary discussions to have,  for quite some time to come. However, let us not forget that it is not the government’s responsibility to appoint school security to all the schools in the nation and regulate it. Our Legislative branch will provide rules to govern society, and the Judicial branch will set ramifications when violations occur. The police and others will respond to such violations. However, the job of keeping our schools safe lie with us, the proactive general public. It simply is not acceptable or effective to wait around in fear for someone, or some other body of people, to do the job we need to be doing, which is stand up for safety of our youth and other personnel in schools.

If you are a parent, have you questioned your child’s school on security procedures? Do you know what the procedure is concerning lock down? Do you know if those procedures are drilled with any regularity? What situations are covered? Most importantly, how is the school addressing preventative measures? How is the school physically secured? Are there increased security measures in place?  Are there “No Gun Zone” signs posted? Does your school believe that is a deterrent? Would they consider additional preventative security measures if the budget for such could be supplemented? Would you pull your child/young adult out of the school if you were not satisfied with their answers? Is there a parent group formed and it is applying pressure  (and support) to the school to make the hard decisions and take serious action?

This is only the tip of the iceberg. Do your children know how to adapt to life where they hear about school shootings in the news regularly? Do they really feel safe? And there is so much more.

If it is not worth the effort to find the answers to the above, and more so, to do everything possible in our power to protect our children in school, then we may loose a lot more lives waiting for others to address these issues on our behalf. I believe in prevention, and it begins in our own neighborhoods. Speak up, form a collective, offer solutions, pressure the schools to respond, financially contribute. It’s not about who “should” be doing what, it is about doing the best we can and now. Lives matter.

There are so many facets to the issue of school violence and violence prevention. Enforcing physical boundaries against it, before it happens, may just be the easy part.

Here is the real question: If we could go back to the day before each school shooting, knowing what we know now, would there be one thing that could be done differently?  If the answer is no, then there is no need to pay attention to this post.

~KBC

“If-Then” Self-Defense

I am always interested in the studies of crime statistics, probabilities and scenarios. Certainly these studies yield important information and can act as prediction indicators of the occurrence of crime but the information they gather, simply put, are generalities. IF such and such is in place, THEN we may assume that x,y,z will follow. Basically, when it comes to crime indicators, I think the if-then scenario concludes the following predictability reliability: Sometimes. When it comes to predicting whether or not a certain person will commit a violent crime one must consider the individual with their ever changing experiences, chemistry and soul status. I am sure that even the most organic of us cannot predict with any certainty what another will do from one moment to the next.

No one is immune from crime. If we were, we wouldn’t need all those statistics, probabilities and studies to predict its occurrence in the first place. Life itself is an “if-then” scenario. If we are in the path of any number of scenarios that manifest into a violent crime, then we must know what to do. Danger is always brewing somewhere.

In terms of safety, we simply are safe until we are not. Sounds simple but it is true. Here’s another if-then scenario to think about. If you learn nothing, then you will know nothing. Although our basic instinct may be to survive in the face of danger, that often is not enough to actually survive. It is not enough to want to survive if you don’t know how.

Logically speaking, there are just too many threatening scenarios to think about preparing for. At the end of the day, we live with so many risks all around us that it just doesn’t make sense to consider them all and wonder which one we will most probably have to deal with. We rely on studies and statistics, to make educated choices about our safety based on our best guess of where we fit into those statistics and that is helpful, however, crime doesn’t always make sense therefore statistics can not be 100% accurate and only so much of our society can be patrolled at once.

Simply put you will never really know what is coming your way until it is happening.

The only thing we can really rely on is ourselves. The best defense to the myriad of risks that ebb and flow around each of our interactions in life is to know where we stand within them. By it’s very nature, violence is not a predictable event. If it were, no one would become a victim, and clearly, there are victims of violent crime every day all day long.

What safety really becomes is another if-then scenario. Simply put, if I am attacked, then I need to know what to do to survive. If I know what to do then it doesn’t really matter if I am attacked. I know how to defend myself so I will.  That skill will help me get out of trouble. It is the same way that I approach renting a car at the airport. If I know how to drive, then it really doesn’t matter what make or model they hand me the keys to.  If I know how to drive, then I will and increase my chances or arriving safely because I have the basic skill. You cannot always predict which threat in life you will have to deal with, but if you know how to protect yourself, then your chances of survival increase no matter what situation you find yourself in. But only if you have the skills.

We are not born with appropriate self-defends strategies because the nature of threats against us change with the climate of the era. However, it is essential that we do learn to protect ourselves because we never know which situation we will be handed. Without skills, we live a life of chance of which threat we may actually encounter, and common sense tells us that it is not a matter of If, but a matter of when.

~KBC

Mindset Self-Defenese offers workshops, products and a cutting edge magazine dedicated to the self-defense, personal protection and safety of women. Learn more at http://www.mindsetselfdefense.com

 

Commitment

Self-Defense | Training | Commitment

The most important cornerstone for building a foundation in your own personal protection is understanding the importance of training and the commitment level with which you chose to subscribe.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy and the chance to draw back. That always leads to ineffectiveness. Think about this statement. Today I want us to look at commitment in a new, more definitive light.

I think there are many historical lessons we can look at to gain insight on current objectives. For this lesson I believe the story of Hernando Cortes would be quite appropriate. Hernando Cortes was a Conquistador who was tasked with conquering the central corridor of Mexico. He went to the new world with a handful of ships which had a compliment of roughly 300 men. Now keep in mind that the Mayan and Aztec cultures were already in place with millions of inhabitants at this time. Doesn’t sound like a very fun job with odds like that, now does it?

The interesting thing was that, at one point, after several engagements with the native people his troops’ commitment to their job started to deteriorate.  His men wanted to mutiny and head back home. So before yet another battle Cortes sank his ships.

Why do you think Hernando Cortes sank his own boats? After all this was the only means of returning to safety. The Conquistadors were shocked that Hernando Cortes had ruined their only way to escape. But let’s pre-frame this from his standpoint. He personally was committed to the task at hand. Without any way of escape – how do you think the Conquistadors fought? Why?

Once you are fully committed, a whole stream of events is put in motion. Things you probably wouldn’t have even considered prior are now on the table. And when you are fully committed, your creativity and perseverance are at their peaks. How does this apply to your martial arts training? What area or areas within your training or within your life have you been hesitating, holding back, or avoiding?

If you do not fully dedicate yourself there is a lack of sincerity in your actions. Indecisiveness and hesitation are roadblocks that will hinder you from reaching your full potential. Don’t be that person who has one foot in and one foot out so if things don’t go according to plan you have an escape route. Commit yourself to those you love, and to yourself, and to living your fullest life possible. Make sure you do not have the means of escape built into your mind as this will cause you to stumble.

Sometimes we don’t know what the outcome will be. As long as we hold back, we will never know what it COULD be – therefore, dream big dreams and make a commitment. Eliminate the possibility of retreat or failure and begin with boldness!

I dare you to be GREAT!

In Oneness,

Sensei

Done with Bullying Arizona

Anti Bullying Arizona

“Done with Bullying” Seminar Mesa AZ

Dear Arizona Families,

As you know, we are strong believers in personal safety. We have done our best to arm our students with practical life skills that will help them in real life. As part of that, we have made an effort to address the bullying behavior that continues to be prevalent in modern society.

Although extremely important, we believe that it is not enough to just teach our students how to defend themselves against bullying. We want to teach them how damaging bullying can be, so that they will be less inclined to bully others as well. We also want to arm them with effective strategies that they can use to come to the aid of others being bullied.

For all these reasons, we are proud to announce that we are now part of the “Martial Artists Against Bullying” (MAAB) movement. This is an international organization made up of professional martial arts instructors from all over the world. The MAAB has put together a comprehensive anti-bullying program called “Done with Bullying”. Anti Bullying Arizona in conjunction with The Budo Shingikan School of Japanese Martial Arts will be utilizing this program for the benefit of our school and our community.

We will be hosting an upcoming anti bullying Arizona seminar on: March 22nd 2014 at The Budo Shingikan Dojo located at: 4840 E. Jasmine Street Suite 104 Mesa Arizona 85205. This seminar will run from 9am – 11am and is completely FREE of charge. Please register early as the seminars will fill up quickly.

Sincerely,

Kaiso Dedeuc D’Antonoli

The Budo Shingikan School of Japanese Martial Arts

www.MartialArtsMesa.com

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Modern Day Chivalry

written by David Bravo

Romance novels and blockbuster movies have been written about men who are courageous, strong, disciplined, loyal, generous and honest. Such works move men deep in their souls, because many of us know we are not who we were born to be.

Chivalry, which may be defined as a code of conduct and rules for behavior of an individual or group, dates back to the Medieval period which lasted from the 5th to the 15th century in Europe. The Medieval period began when the Western Roman Empire collapsed, continued through the Renaissance Era and into the late Middle Ages. Chivalry is often associated with the title of knighthood, a rank of high honor conferred upon men by a monarch or other leader. During this period, knighthood was typically bestowed to horse-mounted warriors who exemplified military prowess, gallantry, unwavering loyalty, social fellowship and service to others.

Knights were closely linked with the Catholic church and displayed moral characteristics such as: honor, courtesy and love, and were expected to protect those who could not protect themselves, particularly elders, women and children. Additionally, knights were highly disciplined, honest, and respected the honor of women at all times.

Now that it is clear where chivalry came from and its premises, let’s investigate its application in modern day society.

First and foremost, I believe it is hard wired into every man by God Himself to have the heart of a warrior, as described above. God Himself is a warrior and has made men in His image. Sadly, it seems that many men do not recognize this aspect of their nature. Since we live in a nation that is heavily protected by so many of these modern day knights, the rest of us may believe that there is no need to be a knightly man. I would categorically disagree. On the contrary, we are in dire need of men to be knights now more than any other time in history.

We watch as traditional marriages decline and rates of domestic violence rise. We witness the objectification of women and watch as pornography becomes more and more accessible to our youth. Human sex trafficking is one of the quickest rising crimes today, both within and outside of our country’s borders, and illegal drugs are becoming legal. It is hard not to see the cause of the degradation of our society and our world, as the fall of man and our inability to live up to who we are all born to be. Can we not look at man and…read more here

Bully Proof Your Children

by David Bravo

Being a victim of bullying myself when I was young, I understand the effects bullying can have on a child’s life. All the motivation that a child has to succeed in school, sports, and any endeavor in life, comes from a child’s confidence and self-esteem. A bully robs a child of those very important attributes, and that can have a negative impact on the rest of their life.

Of all the memories I have of growing up, the times I was bullied remain some of the most vivid of all my memories. I can still tap into the emotions I felt in those moments. Lets first make sure we have a clear understanding of what bullying is and is not. If someone calls you a name, teases you about something, attempts to manipulate you for their benefit, or even puts their hands on you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are getting bullied.

There are plenty of mean, selfish people in the world who do and say such things to people. Bullying is when someone, or a group of people, single one person or a group of people out, and routinely aggravate, belittle, humiliate, intimidate, abuse, etc. that person or group. Bullying is usually not a one-time, isolated incident. It typically continues for days, weeks, or even months, if not dealt with.

Bullies are often misrepresented as children with low self-esteem, or children who suffer from abuse at home. In fact these categories make up a very small percentage of the bullies who are out there. According to the book, “Bullies and Victims in Schools,” by Valerie E. Besag, 96% of children will be bullied at least once in their lifetime. Of those children, 46% will suffer poor grades or will abstain from extra-curricular activities because of the bullying.

I want to help you give your child the confidence, self-esteem, and knowledge needed to defend themselves against bullies. Teaching children self-respect and self-worth are where the help must start. Instill in children, a belief system whereby they can say “I am valuable and worth protecting.” Furthermore, 2% of those children will commit suicide because of constant harassment from classmates.

When those beliefs are instilled in children two things occur:

1. They will have the confidence to stand up for themselves when faced with abuse.

2. They will realize the value of respect and will be less likely to bully others.

HOW TO HANDLE A BULLY

This is an integral part of our philosophy at Premier Martial Arts. It is in understanding conflict that we can begin to overcome problems, and prevent it. If conflict should arise, we have the option of neutralizing it quickly and humanely. Over the years, we have devised this simple and effective program to resolve conflict and give the student a way to resolve a conflict peacefully and walk away with dignity. A great teacher taught me that the best way of self defense is to “have no enemies”. This is the basis for this guide.

MAKE FRIENDS. The person with the most friends always wins! If, through kindness and respect, diplomacy and charm, we set out to be the friendliest student at our school, we are less likely be bullied. As parents, we can help our children build these valuable social skills through modeling and role playing.

TELL EVERYONE you have a problem with this person, especially parents and teachers. If any trouble arises, everyone will know who created the problem. It is the responsibility of the SCHOOL to keep our children safe from bullying. Some schools claim to have a “ZERO TOLERANCE” policy. But many times this is just lip service. You can’t prevent bullying before it happens, and schools don’t expel every student who bullies others. However, if bullying is reported by your child, the school MUST take action immediately to address the situation. If it continues the bully must be removed from the school.

AVOID. Keep away from the bully. Don’t return harsh insults, or looks. Stay out of the same room and simply don’t listen to their comments. You can’t be bullied if the bully isn’t in your presence.

DRAW A LINE.Teach your child to create a safety cushion if someone bullies them or makes them feel scared. When someone is bullying you and you can’t get an adult involved, it’s best to take action as soon as you can. If someone calls you a name or puts their hands on you, tell them to stop. As you get older you will learn the importance of handling problems when they are small. Remember, it’s a lot easier to blow out a match then to put out a forest fire. Do not ignore problems. If your belly hurts, tell your mom, if you’re having trouble in school, ask the teacher for help right away and if a bully is picking on you, take action and tell them to stop. Bullies want to pick on easy victims who won’t stick up for themselves.

If the bully continues, then you will increase the volume of your voice and put on a more intense facial expression. Once again create space, and in a louder more confident voice say: “I said, don’t touch me!!!”Tell them: “I don’t want to fight, but I will protect myself!” Show confidence, get double arms distance in between you and them and put your hands up.

NEUTRALIZE. This means to run away, defend yourself and do whatever is necessary to keep yourself from being injured. No one has the right to hurt you. And no one has the right to put their hands on you in an aggressive manner. You DON’T have to wait for them to attack you before you take action, but BE CAREFUL!! If you don’t have the fighting skills to protect yourself, don’t fight. It will only lead to you taking a beating and getting further humiliated. Instead, get the training you need to protect yourself. While nobody has a right to hurt you in any way, YOU are responsible for your own personal safety and developing the skills necessary to protect yourself.

Premier Martial Arts

Offering the finest in family martial arts, our Personal Achievement Program focuses on human development. Our proven character building Black Belt Success System instills empowering life skills including:

* Self Esteem Building – promoting healthy attitudes and well being about oneself 
* Focus Skills – promotes increased concentration and listening skills which improve grades
* Discipline & Respect – instills good habits at home & school
* Self Control – to focus energy in a positive manner
* Goal Setting & Achievement – to break through limitation

For seminars or information on classes where these strategies and more are taught, call Premier Martial Arts at:
(602) 909-0840.

Ultimate Self-Defense

Imagine you had the ability to embark on a journey into a brave new world, one in which you have never seen or heard of, one in which you do not speak the language and no one even really resembles you. The purpose of your journey is to navigate this new world, its terrain and elements, master its’ inhabitants’ language, and align with its’ culture. If successful, you have would have the opportunity to experience a new world full of natural beauty, empathetic compassion, soulful inter-connection and a myriad of physical sensations. Additionally, this new adventure holds the potential to learn skills and concepts beyond your current imagination. Your mind would expand exponentially. Best of all, this new environment is one full of hope, excitement and support where you can live, learn, grow and love in peace and safety. 

What would you feel like and how would you behave once you have returned from your journey? How would it change you? Would you want your loved ones to go to the same place and have the same experience that you had? Would you dedicate your time and effort in assisting with their ability to journey as you did?

The fact is that we, as human beings, have already made the jump into that journey.

The day before you were born, you were very much alive. You did not breathe as you do now, but absorbed your oxygen and nutrients from the fluid that surrounded you. What you heard of the sounds of the world, and whatever you could see, also first passed through this same fluid. You had virtually no control of your body, knew nothing of the new world’s language, and had no idea what another human being even looked like. The journey you were on was completely foreign. If there were a way to infuse the knowledge to the vulnerable you that in 24 hours you would be breathing not water, but air for oxygen, eating food, learning the basics of a foreign language, navigate obstacles, see, hear and feel through new, yet undiscovered senses, in a land you could not even imagine, life would certainly at that point be utterly and completely unrecognizable to you. Yet, that is what ear  and every one of us have done. Our truth and very existence changed in yet a few precious moments. I wonder how many of us would  have in fact been brave and courageous enough to have been born, if given the choice?

There are other times in history where truths have changed. In Galileo’s time, the truth of the world was that its’ surface was flat. If we traveled to the “edge,” it was believed we would simply fall off into an endless abyss. Today we all know that concept was not the truth, simply “the truth of the time” and what the masses believed in, so for a while, it became their truth. What kind of spirit, fortitude, and belief in oneself, must it have taken for his theories to be pushed through until proven.

Then there were the myriad of courageous explorers in days gone by who traveled and colonized new lands. Armed with tools, ships and the like, their beliefs and sheer will were probably among their most important assets to continue onward. They just kept pushing forward toward a new world, a new life, and new truths. 

The funny thing about some truths, is that they are not just there waiting to be discovered. There is no concrete substance to a truth that one seeks and then finds. Truth exists only in the minds of those who believe it, and the resulting culture is the manifestation of those thoughts and beliefs. Truth is evidenced into existence through action and behavior.

Fast forward to 2014 and our cultures have their own sets of current truths. One truth is that we live in a place of much beauty. Our lands are graced with natural beauty from majestic mountains to red rock canyons to turquoise waters and pure sandy beaches. We are blessed with an abundance of colors, changing and blending constantly everywhere, different species of life to live amongst and learn from, and the power of self-renewing passion and inner strength, that we can draw from and share with others of our own kind. Yet, there are other truths. The truths that some subscribe to that cause humans to choose to kill each other, imprison each other, torment, deny, and destroy each other. Clearly the former are simply supplied to us, luckily we come by such beauty naturally. Violence is always a choice. One that begins in the mind, out of fear.

The day before we were born we had no choice, and we had no fear, only progression. There was only one way to go, forward, and why not? Hopefully, that transition was into loving arms and a new beautiful world full of hope and possibility. That was the truth for some people, and not for others. Clearly then there is no one truth, and the only thing we can control is ourselves. There is only your truth that you bring to the world through your thoughts and your actions. This is our choice as human beings.

What would you choose if you had no fear? What could you become? Would you choose to shine with beauty as a gift to all those around you if you knew you would be accepted? Would you, like Galileo, take the natural gifts in front of us and pursue new ways to interpret and combine these elements to open up the boundaries of our environment? Or maybe it is simply enough to see the need in just one other person, and respond. If you are reading this, you probably have been around long enough to figure out, that there are many improvements we can make in the way we are living today and we could all use a little more grace.

No one asked you years ago if you were brave and courageous enough to leave the only home you ever knew and be born alone into a strange new one.Today, however, you can ask yourself if you are brave enough to choose a new attitude of enlightened empowerment, enhanced encouragement, deeper consideration, empathy, kindness, and support. If we did accept this challenge, that would certainly be the ultimate form of self-defense, because we simply would not need any.

How brave will you be in 2014?