Self- Worth: The Cost of “Being” is Free
By Kaiden Blake
Self-worth is the fuel that enables us to live out our lives to our fullest potential. Most people, however, are living on “empty”—too preoccupied with the day-to-day to notice the flashing red light on the dashboard.
The truth is, we can’t think our way to self-worthiness. The human brain is programmed to navigate the world by way of processing information in a logical, dualistic format. For example: this is right, that is wrong and she’s a woman, he’s a man. When our mind tries to conceptualize the notion of self-worth, it’s automatically subjected to the realm of duality. Using our minds alone to understand our self-worth is like trying to stargaze with a pair of binoculars. Since self-worth is such a delicate and unique factor in each individual person, it needs to be honored as such. The mind insists on sequestering us away into nice, orderly groups, but surrendering to that method and mentality is harmful and unrealistic in regard to the deepest parts of ourselves.
The mind resides very closely to the ego, which is one of the most powerful detractors in our mission to achieving a sense of worth. The ego is never satisfied, and so our minds work overtime to try and compensate. When that happens, over-thinking and self-doubt are guaranteed to take over. Our minds will replay old tapes of who we thought we should be and will resurface all of the projections others have placed on us. It will re-hash doubts, insecurities, mistakes, and poor habits we’ve clung onto throughout our life. We’re rendered useless if we’re living in that headspace, as we’re taking on an imaginary script—a dialogue between fear and lack. We must see through this illusion, knowing that we’re far greater than to submit ourselves to the never-ending egoic cycle that readily offers itself to us. Instead, we must create our own script.
The objective isn’t to think our way to self-worthiness—the objective is to choose what we think about. This is paramount to our success. Though our thoughts often seem like innocent static noise, they’re hard at work at creating our reality. Since our thoughts have a profound effect on our psyche, they evoke strong emotions within us. Because we’re highly emotional beings, emotions can often seem to create our reality. While we want to fill up our lives with positive, life-affirming emotions, it’s unhealthy to live vicariously through a purely emotional state. Making decisions based on emotions alone is like building a skyscraper on a loose foundation. Next time you find your mind racing with unwanted thoughts or emotions, try to snap yourself out of the false created reality. Your true inner self never wants you to feel less than, for you are far greater than your thoughts and emotions.
Don’t ever believe that bodies are things that happen to other people. While everyone is aware of and acknowledges they have a body, few embrace them—and even fewer really listen to them. Self-worth is just as important on a physical level because our bodies are the vessels that carry our souls. We have a right to our bodies, and our bodies have a right to be treated in our highest regard.
We’ve been programmed from a very young age what to feel about our bodies. Television, media, and society have dictated what’s attractive, what fashions are acceptable or unacceptable and the implications they have, and how we’re meant to view the bodies of others. Because we’ve been fed that script, we’ve forgotten to not only live with our bodies on our own terms, but we’ve forgotten how to really tune in and listen to our bodies.
Here are some questions to ask yourself. Please answer honestly; your ego will want to rear up and get defensive, but the first step to true healing is being fully honest with yourself.
– Am I comfortable in my body?
– Do I feel comfortable in my body around others?
– Am I expressing myself for me, or for the validation of others?
– Do I treat my body well through my thoughts and actions?
– Am I putting harmful toxins, chemicals, and food in my body?
– When was the last time I did something positive to celebrate my body?
Many of you who answered those questions will realize how often our bodies fall by the wayside on our list of priorities. The truth is, our body never lies. Often times when we feel under the weather, our truest “self” is trying to get our attention by the only means it knows how. Instead of writing off every headache, stomach ache, or sense of unease, try to tune in to the feeling and let your body give you a message. Though many will scoff at the notion of listening in on the body, many people have overcome lifelong illnesses by doing so. It’s a matter of being fully in sync with the body. The healthier we treat our bodies and the more aware of them we are, the easier it is to prevent anything untoward or harmful from entering or permeating our lives.
It’s important to be gentle with ourselves and to acknowledge the uniqueness of our bodies. Every single being on this planet is a divine miracle. Life here on Earth has a habit of getting in the way of our inner knowingness of how incredible we are and how much potential each and every one of us has to offer. Our bodies are the vessels that enable us to reach for our dreams and to connect with others in the most wonderful of ways. Instead of taking on others’ projections of your body or your own insecurities, try celebrating your body. Know that you’re worthy and deserving of great health and opportunities. And most importantly, worthy of self-love.
Like our mind and body, our self-worth on our soul level stems from within—not from outside sources. It doesn’t come from jobs, credentials, or monetary gain. Believing in oneself can certainly pave the way to gain those things, but how we adorn our lives on the outside cannot fulfill the need within. It only, at best, can give us a sense of complacency. One of the biggest blocks to achieving self-worth is giving our power away to others.
Because of the constant chatter from our egos and the harsh world we live in, we lose faith in ourselves. Once we fall out of touch with our innermost sense of self, we base everything on outside sources. Instead of seeking approval from someone or something else, try asking yourself for it. And when you answer, try listening. Pay very close attention to your gut instincts. If you’re still feeling lost, ask the universe for a sign. Signs and confirmations can come to us in the most unsuspecting of ways—words we pick up at random, songs that come on the radio, or something we overhear in a passing conversation. One of the best tools we have is to simply listen. When human beings struggle, we often lash out—either out of frustration or desperation. When we really sit with ourselves and let go of all the noise from our thoughts and ego, we’re able to more easily get a firm grip on the situation or question at hand.
In addition to learning how to listen, let go of what you’ve been conditioned to believe about yourself. Connect yourself fully with the entire universe itself, and ask: “What is it within me that can make a positive, profound impact on the world?” Include yourself when you think of the world and the people around you. Instead of separating yourself and feeling isolated, know that you play just as important a part as everyone and everything else. In the highest truth, there is no separation. Once you step back into your power and cherish yourself, you’ll notice yourself going with the natural flow of life rather than against it. By fully actualizing your self-worth, you’re gifting yourself the ability to use the wings you’ve always had but forgot along the way.
Be you, and fly to great heights like I know you can.
“I honor and respect my truest self and all of the complexities that are within me. I am whole, worthy, and able. I have the confidence, freedom, safety, and security to fully be me at all times. I will not let my own ego or the words and actions of others to disempower me. I trust and believe in myself, and I am fully capable of accomplishing my dreams. I am me.”
Kaiden Blake is a recognized internet personality and artist, is currently anticipating the release of his forthcoming book. Kaiden’s incredibly strong bond with his fans, inspire personal empowerment across the globe.